Reference: The Happiness Rundown
3-1. Be faithful to your sexual partner
Unfaithfulness on the part of a sexual partner can heavily reduce one’s survival. History and the newspapers carry floods of instances of the violence of human passions aroused by unfaithfulness. “Guilt” is the milder evil. Jealousy and vengeance are the greater monsters: one never knows when they will cease to sleep. It is all very well to speak of “being civilized” and “uninhibited” and “understanding”; no talk will mend ruined lives. A “feeling of guilt” is nowhere near as sharp as a knife in the back or ground glass in the soup.
Additionally, there is the question of health. If you do not insist upon faithfulness from a sexual partner, you lay yourself open to disease. For a very brief period, it was said that sexual diseases were all under control. This is not now the case, if it ever was. Incurable strains of such diseases now exist.
The problems of sexual misbehavior are not new. The powerful religion of Buddhism in India vanished from there in the seventh century. According to its own historians the cause was sexual promiscuity in its monasteries. More modernly, when sexual promiscuity becomes prevalent in an organization, commercial or otherwise, the organization can be seen to fail. No matter how civilized their discussions about it, families shatter in the face of unfaithfulness.
The urge of the moment can become the sorrow of a lifetime. Impress those around you with that and safeguard your own health and pleasure.
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Exercise
0. Make sure you have completed the exercise section at Happiness: Precept 3. Study the precept above.
1. Check the responses to the following questions for false data (see false data steps at Happiness: Prologue).
(a) “Have you been told or taught not to be faithful to your sexual partner?”
(b) “Do you have any rules or ideas contrary to being faithful to your sexual partner?”
(c) “Have you been led to believe that you shouldn’t be faithful to your sexual partner?”
(d) “Do you know of anything that conflicts with being faithful to your sexual partner?”
(e) “Do you have any false data about being faithful to your sexual partner?”
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2. Go over each of the following questions repetitively, until there are no more answers:
(a) “How have others transgressed against the precept: ‘Be faithful to your sexual partner’?”
(b) “How have you transgressed against the precept: ‘Be faithful to your sexual partner’?”
Do a quick review to see if you did not miss any answers on this step. You should be feeling good about this step.
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3. See if the following question definitely brings up some name you know of:
“Is there any specific person in your past who really transgressed against the precept: ‘Be faithful to your sexual partner’?”
If no name comes up then go to step 4. if a name has come up, then continue with step 3 as follows:
“Can you recall an exact moment when you observed ___(name)___ transgressing this precept?”
If there is a realization, go to step 4. Otherwise, continue contemplating as follows, until there is some realization.
“Is there any time when you wanted to be like ___(name)___ ?”
“Is there any time when you decided that not being faithful to your sexual partner was a good thing?”
“Did you ever do anything bad to ___(name)___ ? (Get all possible answers)
“Are there any differences between ___(name)___ and yourself?”
“Are there any similarities between ___(name)___ and yourself?”
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4. Handle any anomalies that come up on the following question by looking at the anomaly more closely.
”Do you have any reservations about being faithful to your sexual partner?”
If the anomaly does not resolve then review the precept as well as all the exercise steps above to see if anything was missed. Then do step 4 again. When there is no anomaly go to step 5.
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5. Contemplate on the following question.
“Do you have any reservations about getting someone else to be faithful to their sexual partner?”
If any reservation comes up, then consider the following:
“How would that be a problem?”
Get answers to this question until there are no reservations.
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Wrap up Precept 3
0. Review Precept 3.
1. Contemplate over the following question.
“Is there any conflict between not being promiscuous and any other ideas you have encountered?”
Handle any conflict with false data steps.
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2. Go over each of the following questions repetitively, until there are no more answers:
“Have you thought of any other transgressions of others against the precept: ‘Don’t be promiscuous’?”
“Have you thought of any other transgressions of your own against the precept: ‘Don’t be promiscuous’?”
“During these sessions have you thought of any withhold?”
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3. Consider this question:
“Do you have any feeling that you wouldn’t be yourself if you followed the precept: ‘Don’t be promiscuous’?”
If this is not the case, go to the Step 4. Otherwise, ask yourself,
“Can you recall any person who felt the way you do about the precept: ‘Don’t be promiscuous’?”
If no name comes up then go to step 4. if a name has come up, then continue with step 3 as follows:
“Can you recall an exact moment when you observed ___(name)___ transgressing this precept?”
If there is a realization, go to step 4. Otherwise, continue contemplating as follows, until there is some realization.
“Is there any time when you wanted to be like ___(name)___ ?”
“Is there any time when you decided that being promiscuous was a good thing?”
“Did you ever do anything bad to ___(name)___ ? (Get all possible answers)
“Are there any differences between ___(name)___ and yourself?”
“Are there any similarities between ___(name)___ and yourself?”
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4. Check over the following questions. and handle any anomalies that come up.
“Do you have any other considerations about not being promiscuous?”
“Do you have any other considerations about others not being promiscuous?”
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