Reference: The Happiness Rundown
19. TRY NOT TO DO THINGS TO OTHERS THAT YOU WOULD NOT LIKE THEM TO DO TO YOU
Among many peoples in many lands for many ages there have been versions of what is commonly called “The Golden Rule.” The above is a wording of it that relates to harmful acts.
Only a saint could go through life without ever harming another. But only a criminal hurts those around him without a second thought.
Completely aside from feelings of “guilt” or “shame” or “conscience,” all of which can be real enough and bad enough, it also happens to be true that the harm one does to others can recoil on oneself.
Not all harmful acts are reversible: one can commit an act against another which cannot be waived aside or forgotten. Murder is such an act. One can work out how severe violation of almost any precept in this book could become an irreversible harmful act against another.
The ruin of another’s life can wreck one’s own. Society reacts—the prisons and the insane asylums are stuffed with people who harmed their fellows. But there are other penalties: whether one is caught or not, committing harmful acts against others, particularly when hidden, can cause one to suffer severe changes in his attitudes toward others and himself, all of them unhappy ones. The happiness and joy of life depart.
This version of “The Golden Rule” is also useful as a test. When one persuades someone to apply it, the person can attain a reality on what a harmful act is. It answers for one what harm is. The philosophic question concerning wrongdoing, the argument of what is wrong is answered at once on a personal basis: would you not like that to happen to you? No? Then it must be a harmful action and from society’s viewpoint, a wrong action. It can awaken social consciousness. It can then let one work out what one should do and what one should not do.
In a time when some feel no restraint from doing harmful acts, the survival potential of the individual sinks to a very low ebb.
If you can persuade people to apply this, you will have given them a precept by which they can evaluate their own lives and for some, opened the door to let them rejoin the human race.
The way to happiness is closed to those who do not restrain themselves from committing harmful acts.
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Exercise
0. Make sure you have completed the exercise section at Happiness: Precept 18. Study the precept above.
1. Check the responses to the following questions for false data (see false data steps at Happiness: Prologue).
(a) “Have you been told or taught that it was OK to do things to others that you wouldn’t like them to do to you?”
(b) “Do you have any rules or ideas that make it OK to do things to others that you wouldn’t like them to do to you?”
(c) “Have you been led to believe that you should do things to others that you would not like them to do to you?”
(d) “Do you know of anything that conflicts with trying not to do things to others that you wouldn’t like them to do to you?”
(e) “Do you have any false data about trying not to do things to others that you wouldn’t like them to do to you?”
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2. Go over each of the following questions repetitively, until there are no more answers:
(a) “How have others transgressed against the precept: ‘Try not to do things to others that you would not like them to do to you’?”
(b) “How have you transgressed against the precept: ‘Try not to do things to others that you would not like them to do to you’?”
Do a quick review to see if you did not miss any answers on this step. You should be feeling good about this step.
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3. See if the following question definitely brings up some name you know of:
“Is there any specific person in your past who really transgressed against the precept: ‘Try not to do things to others that you would not like them to do to you’?”
If no name comes up then go to step 4. if a name has come up, then continue with step 3 as follows:
“Can you recall an exact moment when you observed ___(name)___ transgressing this precept?”
If there is a realization, go to step 4. Otherwise, continue contemplating as follows, until there is some realization.
“Is there any time when you wanted to be like ___(name)___ ?”
“Is there any time when you decided that doing things to others that you wouldn’t like them to do to you was a good thing?”
“Did you ever do anything bad to ___(name)___ ? (Get all possible answers)
“Are there any differences between ___(name)___ and yourself?”
“Are there any similarities between ___(name)___ and yourself?”
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4. Handle any anomalies that come up on the following question by looking at the anomaly more closely.
”Do you have any reservations about trying not to do things to others that you would not like them to do to you?”
If the anomaly does not resolve then review the precept as well as all the exercise steps above to see if anything was missed. Then do step 4 again. When there is no anomaly go to step 5.
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5. Contemplate on the following question.
“Do you have any reservations about getting someone else to try not to do things to others that they would not done to them?”
If any reservation comes up, then consider the following:
“How would that be a problem?”
Get answers to this question until there are no reservations.
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SPECIAL NOTE
On this precept it is very important to fully understand what a harmful act (overt) is. You should become fully aware of all the “overts” you have committed regardless of the justifications you may have.
If at the end of the above steps of the Exercise, you still have feelings of shame, blame or regret, you must go through each of the steps again. You should not have missed any of your overts. You must have full cognizance of what you have done. Only then will you be free of any shame, blame and regret.
At the end of this session, you should have high reality on what an overt (harmful act) is and feel very cheerful! If so, you may proceed with the next precept.
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